Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Wordless(ish) Wednesday..2 days till Beta!!


Holy Freaking Slow Freaking Weeeeeek!!! 

This no POAS thing is A LOT harder than I imagined! 
It seriously makes me feel like an addict who can't get her fix! 
Day after day of telling myself no I am starting to wonder 
if this was a good choice? Do I really want no heads up at all?
Do I seriously want to find out the results of this cycle 
over the phone? with no freaking clue what their going to say?
I really have no feelings on which way it's going to go?!? 
and it's driving me CRAZY!!! 
Sometimes I can be sitting on the couch and the thought pops in 
my head saying ya your definitely pregnant! 
then 10 minutes later I have a cramp or something that triggers 
the thought..Nope it didn't work. Better luck next month. 
UGH! 
Help!!! 
What should I do? Should I POAS Friday before my Beta? 
Or should I hold out and just take the call..
uh you guys.. my stomach sinks just thinking about it! 
my stomach sinks every time I see their number on my phone when they call. 
Scott said it's up to me...
But I am just having a hard time deciding! 
I mean I have made it this far? so why ruin it now? 
but what if they call and say it's Negative and I am more heartbroken?
I am of course obsessing over every symptom 
and most of them can go either way but there are two 
that stand out as big red flags to me.. 
a pinching pain two days ago in my lower right side (ovary area) 
that seriously stopped me in my tracks and had me bent over
holding my side...then yesterday the pinching continued 
but it was like spasms not constant. 
The other is the lower back pain OmyGoodness... 
the lower back pain started the same day as the pinching 
and remained alllll day yesterday! 
Now as any TTC(AL)'ER would 
I did all the googling I could,  and hit up all of the forums of success stories 
with woman who experienced this pinching and lower back pain.. 
 All I found were success stories but then again that's all I was really looking for. 

Soooo...To POAS or NOT?!?
opinions please!! 





11 comments:

  1. Don't do it! Just wait. Best decision for me the second time around. I was so surprised and soo happy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are SO strong!!! I think it is awesome you are holding out!! I honestly don't know what I would do in your situation. I have a friend who had ivf many times and her last time (which brought her twins), she said she couldn't stand getting the call so she would test literally and hr or so before they would call. I am sure it is so hard for you to decide. Whatever you choose will be the right decision for you, gf!! I am praying many prayers and can not wait to read your next posts! Tons of love!!!!! Xoxoxo maria

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a tough decision! It's hard to decide what would break your heart more- the phone call from the doctor, or seeing just one line when you test. I've done both and last time I decided that I would POAS the day before the beta so I could emotionally prepare for the phone call the next day! Praying it's a BFP no matter what you decide!

    ReplyDelete
  4. How many DPO are you now? I probably would test because I have no willpower but since you're much stronger than me you should hold out! The blood test will be more definitive anyways! GOOD LUCK GIRL! One day left! Are you testing early in the morning?!?!?! When will you have the results!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 14 today! my last pregnancy I didn't test positive till 16dpo!! I think I am going to wait! Thanks for the luck!! My blood drawl is at 830am! and they said I will get a call the same day %-D

      Delete
  5. I always POAS the morning of my beta. That way I have time to cry at home if it's negative. It also makes it much easier for me to have a conversation with the nurse so we can figure out the next step instead of uncontrolable sobbing from my end. Good Luck!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've never been tempted to POAS in my eight years of struggling with IF...that is, until this cycle. I'm trying to remain strong until my beta on Monday but I know the torture you were going through this week. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  7. I go to see each day a few web pages and information sites
    to read articles, except this web site provides quality based posts.
    Here is my web-site :: weight loss center

    ReplyDelete