Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Wait..I'm in the 2ww?!

Holy Guacamole! 
I am officially in the 2ww again.. 
the hall way of fertility! 
Our 2nd IUI went wonderfully! 
I went in with one nice size follicle and 
Scott's sample was excellent! 
The Dr. was hilarious this time!
He walked in with the sample 
and the paper work, I read off the information out loud 
as the nurse verified it...but when I got to the last 4 of 
Scott's ss number she made a funny face..
the Dr. said Oh Crap! then laughed as he showed 
her that the last number was in fact an 8 not a 5...
(we are hoping)(J/K LOL) 
Then Dr. G lightened the mood even more
saying things like, we need a Barry Manilow room
everyone gets pregnant when Barry Manilow is playing on the radio!
The song on the radio wasn't quite Barry.. 
but it was Usher and I am pretty sure plenty of people 
get pregnant while listening to him as well! 
I made a comment during the procedure about how bright it 
was in the room! The Dr.s replied.. 
well you don't want this to end up in the wrong place do you?
 Touche Dr. G Touche
After the procedure was complete Scott 
yelled out "You have been inseminated!"
in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.. 
everyone belly laughed while I laid 
on the bed trying to keep everything in place! 
When the Dr. left the room he turned off the light 
and said here ya go how about a little mood lighting?!
Scott continued to crack me up with his 
voodoo that he was doing over my lower stomach..

 after about 10 minutes we realized they forgot to set 
the timer..so Scott turned it on for 10 more.. 
I begged for my pants as I lay on the bed 
laughing historically at Scott's Jokes 
I wonder what the nurses were thinking outside the door
 After the timer went off we headed out 
we stopped by the office his mom works at 
and chatted for a while. I got to ride in the front 
seat this time but with my seat all the way reclined 
and my feet propped up..Scott and his silly rules. 
Once we got home I made us lunch and got comfy on the couch
I watched episode after episode of Lost 
I swear I am going to watch some of your suggestions 
just as soon as Lost looses me...which I have a feeling 
will be very soon! 
Scott brought me what I needed through out the day 
and I took a very long nap! 
It was the most relaxing day ever! 
I did have more cramping this time than last but 
I am hoping that is a good sign :) 
So today is 1dpiui and only 15 more days till BETA! 
Fingers Crossed

So who are all my cycle buddies right now?! 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

NIAW & My feelings about FB

This week is NIAW.. 
National Infertility Awareness Week.
I posted a link on Facebook and wrote 
a short sentence that read
"You never know what someone has been through or 
what they are currently going through...educate yourself."
That is all I could bring myself to type. 
I wanted to share our story.. 
Our whole story but every time I type it out out 
I hit delete instead of post. 
I think what I posted was enough. I want people 
to be more aware, to know that Infertility effects 
more people than many know. But I am just 
not ready to put our story out in their face. 
and for what? the likes? the sympathy that will come along with it?
I don't want their sympathy, I want them to be educated. 
Plus I have always pictured 
posting a video of our journey with a happy ending. 
that will show what we've been there and where we've 
ended up. I pray everyday that I can make that video soon.  
About 2 months ago I was ready to deactivate my account. 
I was just sick of seeing some of the posts 
and I knew some of those people were just there 
to see how much better or worse I was doing in life than them. 
But instead of deactivating my account. 
I went on a deleting spree :) 
It felt good! By the end of my clicking 
I was 147 "friends" lighter! 
I am trying my best to turn it into a place where I see my family 
my close friends and my blogging buddies! 
What about you? How do you feel about Facebook?
Have you shared your story? Have you ever went on a deleting spree?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Cylce 9 and Complaining

First off...
for all your amazing comments yesterday! 
You girls sure know how to make someone feel better! :)

Today is CD2 I went in for my baseline today 
instead of my beta...blah
I saw a new Dr in the practice yet again. 
When I first came to Dr. B's I was 
under the impression it was him and one other guy. 
so far I have seen both of them and now a new girl. 
well new to me anyway. 
She was very nice. I have no complaints about her! 
The scan looked great and I have no cysts 
so we are set to move forward with a repeat cycle. 
All good news! 
Some of my complaints that have been piling up. 
first off. 
The lady at the front desk needs a new job. 
I'm thinking a Walmart greeter would suit her best. 
She is awful! not only is she totally clueless half of the time 
but she is rude and forgetful! 
She rubbed me the wrong way on my very first appointment (over a year ago)
we were arguing  having a conversation on 
why she listed me as infertile when I can get pregnant 
but just cant stay pregnant that to me should be labeled 
as a recurrent misscarrier not infertile.... 
anyway she was going to win no matter what and 
wasn't giving up. 
money sucking witch... 
so then at the end of the convo she said something along the lines of 
"Ya and since your trying to speed this process up" 
referring to trying to get pregnant. 
Who the hell says that at a RE office?! WHO?!
This woman is an idiot! 
So last time Scott and I are in I sign my name 
then sit down not even 5 seconds later she opens the window 
looks right at me and starts shouting JAMIE! JAMIE! 
I look at Scott who looks at her and says you mean Alexis?!
Her face turns red as she said "Oh ya oops Alexis!"
Oh ya oops B(@%!?!?! 
I have been coming to this office for a whole damn year 
and you don't know my name?!! 
The tanning salon girls that see me maybe MAYBE once 
a month know my name! All of them! 
So then today! 
There are like 14 people in the waiting room 
I sign in and sit down, 
I wait. and wait and wait. 
finally she opens the window and says 
in my head I am calling her every name under the sun 
knowing that she is referring to me but yet again can't get my name right!  
I let her go on about 4 more times before I stand up and shout
Shit you not this woman looks down at the sheet 
says Alex again then says Oh ya ALEXIS.
Ugh I wanted to punch her in the face! 
I am a little irritated today if you cant tell :) 
But I mean come on the witch is in town 
and no one feels like being all 
"oh its okay" when shes around! 
{I'm stomping my feet right now}
So there is more.. 
Remember when I wrote the post about 
how they are now recommending you take a HPT 
before going to get labs that way if you don't need 
to you don't have to?
Well today they start freaking out because I don't have 
any lab records....
Um ya because I had them drawn at the hospital 
and because I am full flow lady I don't need labs done! 
Plus ALL of my good veins are busted up right now 

So the nurse is like well can you call the ER right now 
and have them fax over your labs?!
ha. ha. ha. 
Ya sure! Why not?! I have nothing better to do today
then prove to you that I'm not pregnant!
I call get everything worked out 
hang up the phone and the nurse 
says, well if they don't get here in a timely 
fashion I am going to have to call you and send 
you over to the lab! 
Great! Sounds fun! Thanks Lady! 

To TOP off my morning at the BMV.. 
oh wait I was at the Dr! they both suck so much I got them confused! 
I go to make my payment and there is a big number 
written in red and circled with the words 
Balance Owed written next to it! 
At this point I am fuming! 
I pay in FULL every visit... 
what the hell is this? 
well apparently that lovely ultrasound 
that I had in March to figure out where AF 
was so that I could get a script of provera 
cost $370 dollars! They billed it to insurance 
who only covered a portion of it.. 
leaving the rest for me :) 
are they not just the sweetest!?
Freaking day I'll tell ya! 
what a freaking day!
On the upside my stomach flu
made me drop 7lbs and shrank the hell out of my stomach! 
my appetite is small and my jeans are loose! 

Until next time.... 

Monday, April 15, 2013


Today marks CD1 and an end to cycle 8
so much for our first IUI being a success.
This weekend was rough,
I started to feel sick to my stomach Saturday morning 
by Saturday evening I had a temp and couldn't
eat or drink anything. 
By Sunday at 11pm my fever would not break
so off to the ER we went. 
It was apparent upon my arrival that I needed fluids. 
They made 4 attempts to insert an IV before 
finally getting a good vein. 
Labs were run and the Dr. returned shortly 
to let me know my hcg levels were negative.
(I wasn't really surprised as I had been spotting that morning.)
By this point I had such a headache and severe stomach ache 
that I needed something for the pain. 
I figured I would get a few tylenol and take a nap 
while my fluids got to work. 
When the nurse returned with morphine and nausea meds 
I was shocked, but not refusing anything they were offering. 
The meds did the trick and I was asleep with in 5 minutes! 
when I woke up I had already gone thru two bags of fluid. 
I felt so much better! no nausea no stomach ache no headache! 
They gave me a script for zofran and 
sent me on my way around 6am. Scott still had to go 
into work at 9 so he dropped me off 
at my parents to spend the day resting. 
AF fully arrived today marking CD1...
We are now on to cycle 9 
and our second IUI
 Why wait? Right?


Friday, April 12, 2013

Finally Friday!

This whole week I was confused as to what day it was! 
Yesterday I missed a meeting thinking it was Wednesday! 
When I sent an email to the woman I was meeting 
verifying that we were on for tomorrow she said 
lol it was today! AHH! How does this happen?
I'm going to blame it on the weather!
Speaking of weather it's freezing here today
we spent most of the week in the 80's and 
now it's 46...
Welcome to Ohio!
Home of the orange barrels and constant colds!

There is nothing really exciting to talk about today 
other than the fact that I shut off my cable 
and got Apple TV! 
I am pretty much currently obsessed with Netflix! 
although I am still to cheep to pay $7.99 a month 
so I "borrow" my friend Lucy's account for now :) 
I told her I would give her 2 dollars a month.  
$2 and not $4 because her dad uses her account too
so really it should be split 3 ways correct?
She informed me yesterday that she doesn't want my $2 dollars
she will just use me for babysitting when she needs...
fair trade? 
I think not! 
Anyways some shows that I am currently hooked on!
Breaking Bad...Omg. we watched the last episode on NF last night! 
Parenthood..pretty good just started this one
Revenge...LOVE but it makes me super jealous that I'm not a loaded 
Hampton living spoiled brat with adorable clothes!
Lost...I just started this one as well I think I am on episode 5? 
but I am loving it so far! 
I should also mention that I do mass amounts of laundry during all 
this TV watching! 
It is kind of funny that I thought getting rid of cable would make 
me more active.. I think it had the complete opposite affect! 
So my question to you ladies is 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Half Way Mark of the 2ww!

Only 8  7 more days till my Beta! 
I say 7 because technically today is almost over for me :) 
Plus 7 is better than 8! 
I went back and forth with myself for far 
to long as to whether I wanted to "test out" my trigger. 
This is a huge double edged sword for me. 
On the plus side, I would know when it's a real BFP. 
On the down side, I hate seeing that line disappear.  
I feel calm today. 
I have been trying very hard not to notice 
things as "signs" or "symptoms:" 
like the flutters and spontaneous cramps 
or the constant dryness of my throat 
with urges to drink gallons of water. 
Is that even a symptom? 
I really don't know. 
I have also tried to stay away from google. 
It's silly really, to google things like this. 
because in reality the things that I would 
google would lead me to the answers that I want. 
not the answers that I would rather not hear. 
pointless I tell ya. just pointless. 
My Doctors office told me last week 
that they have started suggesting taking a hpt before 
going in for your blood test. That way if it is negative 
you can avoid the blood suckers. 
When the nurse told me this I laughed to myself 
thinking, you guys really must not understand 
ttc crazed women... 
It a perfect world that would sound great, 
to pee on a stick see a second line and then go in for blood work. 
in a ttc crazed woman's world it would consist of 
peeing on 10 to 12 hpts, ripping them open 
holding them to the light, even using a magnified glass 
to try and find any hint of pink in that second line. 
Then go back and forth with herself as to whether she 
should go in for the blood work, or take the stark white test in 
her hand as a negative and go about her day. 
(not that I have ever done any of the above) 
Today spring is in the air. 
the feeling of warmth and things coming to life. 
It makes me giddy inside to think of
The cookouts and bonfires, sitting out on the back porch 
watching the dog explore the yard. Laughing with friends and family. 
hearing the crickets sing the night away and the birds 
with their early morning chatter. 
I am ready for it! 
I can't help but picture myself pregnant 
in every one of these visions. 
My best friend from child hood is getting married 
this July in Cali and I am honored to be 
a bridesmaid. If everything works out like it should 
I will be 18 weeks pregnant then. 
I also was just presented with information 
about a trip in June for work. 
I will be traveling west to Las Vegas 
for a huge bowling convention. 
and again if everything works out like it should 
I will be 13 weeks along. 
Every day we are one step closer. 
I can't help but think 
about how amazing it is that our lives 
could possibly change in one short week. 
& to the ladies that are cycling along side of me right now, 
I think about you too, how I so badly want good news for you as well. 
I want to end today's post with a very special 
congratulations to Maria and Steve 
their beautiful daughter Piper Grace was 
born last week She is an absolutely doll baby!
If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Maria 
You're missing out! head over and check her out! 
I'll be back later this week with 
an update on how the wrap up of the 2ww is going 
have a fabulous week ladies! 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I'll see you later

When I was young I always remember 
my great grandpa saying 
"I'll see you later" 
he never said "Good Bye" 
because "good bye" to him was the end. 
"I'll see you later insured that it wasn't the end.
and that he would in fact "See you later". 

The weekend of St. Patricks day 
Jenn, Scott and myself traveled 
down to Gatlinburg TN to meet 
with my Aunt L, Uncle R, Cousin Kiel, his daughter N,
 Jillian, Josh and the girls. 
It was the official trip to hand over of the girls 
before Jillian's deployment.
Josh works full time and goes to school full time 
and with Jillian gone it would mean the girls 
would be in daycare all day and with a sitter 
during the evening. They decided it would be 
best for the girls to be up north with family. 
Josh will be up often to spend time with them, 
and we will be making quite a few trips down 
with the girls to the sunshine state!
The weekend was spent laughing, telling stories, 
shopping, and playing with 3 adorable little girls!
Before we knew it, it was time to leave. 
I found my self standing there watching 
My family pack up their trucks 
choking back tears. 
I stood in line and waited to hug 
Jillian one last time for the next 6 months. 
and when it was my turn I squeezed her tight 
for as long as I could and when it was time, I didn't 
say "good bye" I said I will "see you later" 
because I will. 
I know time will creep by while she is gone. 
But I also know her two beautiful babies are here
with us, filling our hearts with joy 
and bringing smiles to our faces.
Plus we are hoping
 we will get to see her often through FaceTime. 

Here are a few memories from our trip! 
Hiking on Day 2 before the others arrived :)

Yittle Bitty Jenn
Scott was a little excited to finally get to the Condo
my love helping me down the hill

just Jenn doing some yoga on this massive rock!

what started as an act...ended with him getting really wet!

uphill with lots in the way
Finally!! Sunshine!
random waterfall
Miss Mia being as silly as could be!
Peyton full of smiles! I love those little teeth :)

Mia Marie being a ham for the camera!

Mia and N "Girl Talk"

Smiley P!

She is growing up to fast! and she LOVES the camera :)

P on a mission to get the bubble bottle!
Oh you know... Just Jenn being Jenn :D
Scrap book Jenn and I made for Jillian to take with her!
sun. shadows. love.

 I talked to Jillian yesterday as she waited in Baltimore
to board her plane to Kuwait..
I sobbed after I hung up the phone.

I am counting down the hours until I receive the
"I'm here!" email.

I  ♥ you Jillian Leigh! I can't for you to return home!!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Holy moly... 
this 2ww is going to kill me! 
 I guess I will just keep reading this over and over agian! 

The night of our IUI 
my dear friend L had us over to her house for dinner

We were greeted at the door by her adorable son 
with a hundred balloons 3 bouquets of flowers 
and a cake that said Happy IUI day on it! 

 They are the best! 

After a fabulous dinner we headed down to the river 
to launch our wish lantern :) 

We wrote our wishes on the inside of the 
lantern and then sent it up into the sky 

It was a beautiful magical moment 
and our wishes are now out 
sent out loud and clear for the universe to hear! 


A Dream is a wish your heart makes

Monday, April 1, 2013

IUI #1

We had our first IUI procedure done this morning
and everything went great! 
Scott's sample was excellent! 
The doctor must have said that a hundred times! 
Backing up to our follicle scan Friday, 
We met with Dr. G who is in practice with Dr. B 
He was VERY nice! and I was so impressed with him.
He was having trouble finding my left ovary (as always) 
but told me he was going to push down on my stomach
to try and move it! No one has ever done this and guess what...
it worked!! 
Lefty popped right out! with a nice 16mm Follicle 
the Right held a nice big juicy 20mm! 
my lining looked great at an 8.5
Dr. G thought it would be best to let these plump 
up just a little more before triggering. So Saturday night 
while at my parents house I took my injection. 

Sunday was Easter 
everything was fabulous and fun! 
I will have an Easter post up soon! 
BUT I will give you a small preview...
The Easter Bunny came to our party!!!

Monday (today) 
We woke up early and headed to the hospital so Scott 
could do his part, my appointment wasn't until 10:30 
so we went and grabbed some breakfast :)
then to Trader Joes to see if we needed 
to pick up anything while we killed time. 
At 10:01 we were pulling back into the hospital 
we were just too excited to keep waiting. 
We only waited about 10 minutes before they took us back,
Dr. G entered with our favorite nurse and had me 
verify a few things then it was time to begin! 
It was over before I knew it! 
painless and quick! 
we were given a timer and told to come out when 
it went off so we could set up lab work. 
The entire 7 minutes of waiting 
Scott sang to me...the Soft Kitty song 
from Saturday night live. We always sing it to Waffles 
when she is barking out of control and it seems
to calm her, I guess Scott thought it would have 
the same effect on me :) 
The plan now is to take one more injection 
this Thursday then have my progesterone labs drawn Monday. 
My beta will be Wednesday April 17th! 
I took the day off work today to relax and enjoy the moment.

Ready to go!!!

Scott & I waiting! My favorite socks :) Me on the table ready for action
and...that would be me laying down in the back of the truck on the way home ;)

Scott insisted I ride this way home from the hospital...lol.

I will be back soon with an Easter update!!
& I haven't forgotten about our trip to TN post, it's coming!

Have a wonderfully week ladies :)