I had a feeling AF would take her sweet time arriving but
come on already!
after mc #2 AF didn't show till CD78!
RE Dr. B offered the pill to jump start things for me
but every time I think about calling I talk myself out of it..
I have been trying to justify why I do this and I think it
just boils down to, I want my body to do it naturally,
it obviously isn't ready so why force it?
why not just let it happen?
Other than the fact that we are absolutely at a stand still
until she arrives...(twice)
But I am really okay with it.
I have a lot going on, like spending time with
the most amazing husband in the world,
work and the house
two brand new babies in the family
and lots of little ones around to keep me entertained.
I've had a few people ask how I have "been doing'
I know its a hard topic for people to bring up
you know the miscarriage, the M word that
no one likes to say, But honestly I feel
like I am truly at peace with it all. I can talk about it,
I can think about it, I can write about it.
I know in my heart there was a reason
that things happened the way they did.
I have the occasional moment when I read
some fellow bloggers that I was pregnant with
and see how far along they are now, the moment
when I think..I would have been 20 weeks,
finding out the sex and seeing a real baby profile on an ultrasound
But in those moments I don't cry,
I don't get angry or upset.
I just go back to my feelings, my feelings that
what happened, happened for a reason.
& our journey isn't over and we aren't done fighting.
I keep having these visions, I guess you could call them.
of Scott and I with two babies
I had a dream not to long ago, and in that dream
I was sorting though the box of clothes my mom and I
bought on our road trip, I was folding boy and girl clothes,
Scott came in the room hugged me from behind and
whispered in my ear, see love, you knew what you
were doing buying boy and girl clothes our babies
will be adorable in these!
Guess we will just have to wait and see what the future holds!