Friday, March 29, 2013

Twisted Fate

I don't have much time today so you get my Instagram post to sum up my appointment!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Can't Shake That Feeling..

From ICLW!? 
Click here for your welcome message! 
and also a big 
Welcome to all of my new followers! 
You girls are awesome! 

Today is CD 9... 
You know that feeling you get in your stomach 
the night before you are about to leave on a vacation?
that super excited, butterflies in your belly feeling?
The feeling like something amazing is 
about to happen, a new adventurer is up ahead?
I can not shake that feeling!! 
Not that I want to.. 
But I am just so damn excited for this 
I told myself that I was going to contain
my excitement in fear of failure.. 
I. just. can't. contain. it.
I feel like a teenager in her last week of school 
before summer! Like a bride ready to walk down the aisle! 
Like a kid in a candy store! 
but mostly like an infertile 
who is about to be pregnant! 
I hope these good feelings continue! 
I hope this cycle results in a 
God- I. hope. Wish. & Pray. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

ICLW March!

Its ICLW!!! 
Happy ICLW Everyone!! 
If you are new here is a recap of our history 
and a bit about Me and Scott 

I'm Alexis :) I am an executive assistant to my father who owns and operates 3 bowling centers I also opened an online store with my mother in July called Little Miss Millie's Boutique you can find the story behind the naming of the boutique here and you can find the store link here.
I love to shop & take long baths, hunt for rocks, bake & paint.. 

Scott is a graphic designer/embroiderer/ free lance web designer who also opened his own business! If you ever need a website designed or business cards, or anything really, you can visit him here. He loves art and rock hunting! creek walking and lazer tag. He is the best husband a woman could ask for and has an amazing heart. Everyone in the family calls him Sweet Scott :) he is pretty sweet! 

We have been together 8 years and married 5 years! 
We bought our first home 9 months after we were married. 
We have been pregnant 4 times.
The first three were 1st trimester losses and 
January of 2013 we experienced our first 
chemical pregnancy. 
The last three years has been an up hill battle
but we believe our love has kept us strong. 
and also this community! 
Our loss in April 2012 hit us pretty hard.
we were 12 weeks and 1 day when I spotted for the first time
we rushed to the ER to find that our baby's heart had stopped beating 
around 9 weeks :( 
We had really high hopes that this baby was going to be the one 
we held in our arms. We celebrated those first 12 weeks 
like we would be bringing a baby home in October. 
I wouldn't change the excitement we had for the world. 
I am happy we had those 3 months of joy.  
we are in our 8th cycle, this is our first cycle
back since the failed one in November. 
In January I got a really weird half positive test. 
Blood work showed that I was having a chemical pregnancy. 
AF did not arrive at all in Feb. I took about 100 hpts 
which were all negative. I also got very sick in February with 
pneumonia and influenza B I was in and out of the hospital 
and Doctors office for 3 weeks. 
Finally I called Dr. B to get a round of provera to bring AF 
to town, he requested an ultrasound to confirm 
that I was not pregnant and that I did not have 
any major cysts. The scan looked great and I was 
given the pills. 4 days after my last pill 
AF arrived. I am now on day 2 of Femara! 
This cycle we are doing, 
Femara days 3-7
Follicle scan on March 29th 
Ovidrel injection
progesterone test, with another injection
(to boost progesterone) 
and then 
Beta day! 
We are wishing, hoping and praying 
that our very first IUI 
will be a success! 
Thank you for stopping by! We hope you decide to stay 
and follow along with us on Our Journey Through This Lovely Life! 
(follow us on bloglovin' also, as there are rumors google reader 
is going to disappear!) 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

(So Far) All Systems Are A Go!

AF showed Sunday on the car ride
home from TN (post on the trip coming soon) 
I got to skip my baseline since I was just in to 
figure out where my period was hiding. 
So a little blood work was all that was needed! 
I will start Femara tomorrow. 
I've ordered my ovidrel injections 
and made my follicle scan appointment! 
March 29th will be our moment of truth! 
If all goes well (fingers crossed) 
and I responded well to the femara 
we will trigger there at the office 
and come in the following morning for our IUI
March 30th. 
my follicles need a little more growth 
we will wait and trigger Saturday the 30th 
and do our IUI on Monday April, 1st. 
what a crazy twist of fate. 
April 1st is the day we found out that we 
had lost Baby 3, It's a day that we have 
not been looking forward to for a whole year. 
and now it may just be the day 
a miracle occurs...
What will be will be. 
and we are more than ready to 
see, what exactly is, it will be. 

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Over the weekend my talented mother and I 
had Show number 2 for LMMB! 
This event was 2 days! 
noon to 5 each day! My wonderful Mother-in-law 
and my bff L came to help out! We had a fabulous time! 
But I will say that first hour my stomach was in 
knots and all I could think was 
Shit, I just cost us $200.00 for this stupid show 
and no one is even going to buy anything. 
Little by little people began to trickle in.
Some would stop, look, touch, then leave. 
some would smile and walk by. 
Some would make comments about the beauty of it all. 
and then there were some that should have just kept walking... 
around hour 3 two ladies approached our table. 
one seemed very interested, the other had a smug look on her 
face and was obviously not enjoying her self. 
Her friend comments on our products and like 
word vomit the other one begins on a rant. 
"I hate this stuff!" "I would NEVER buy anything like this!"
"God, I can't stand stuff like this!" 
{Excuse me?! What did you just say?!}
her poor friend looked horrified. 
I bit my tongue and smiled. 
but in my head all I could think was
{What in the hell?! Who would say something so mean? 
Keep that shit to yourself and move along!}
needless to say, they left pretty fast. 
Of course you always think of the right 
thing to say once the moment has passed. 
 BUT if I could go back to that moment in time 
I would have looked her right in the eye, smiled and said. 
"Didn't your mother ever teach you? If you don't have anything
nice to say, don't say anything at all?!" 
Her rude comments really didn't get us down
in fact I think in some sort of weird way it 
made us sell harder! in the last 3 hours of the show 
we sold over 20 pieces, took 3 custom orders
booked a wedding, and had a very nice lady ask 
us if she could take a stack of our cards to include
 in her baby shower invites listing that she was registered with us!!! 
Day 2 brought more sales and more custom orders! 
I could not have predicted a better turn out! 
This event was hosted by momtopia. 
It was an event for expectant mothers and parents. 
I knew I was in for a challenge seeing loads of loads 
of baby bumps and darling babies. 
But I feel like I really did just fine.
I know my time will come. I just got this feeling of peace
with it all, you never know what someone has been through 
or how hard they worked for the baby they are carrying. 
So I didn't get mad or jealous or upset. 
I got excited and joyful! 
Oh and.. our booth neighbor.. 
was Twin Mom's club! 
Hopefully a sign! a good sign of whats to come! 
Here are some fun pictures from our weekend! 
Carrying all of our stuff in on day 2! 
Waiting for customers 
L waiting and modeling 
One of my favorite pieces sold to the cutest little baby! 

I loved this band too! Isn't this baby darling!
(yes I got approval to use her picture

Oh you know  just completing a transaction! This mother  bought 2!

Our table! all of those lace rompers on the front sold the first day!  

After the show on day 2 we headed to Sammy's
for a celebration Dinner/ Drinks!

A much needed giant beer after one very successful weekend! 
Show me your muscles! Nathan and Scott at Dinner :)
What do you mean the Little Miss Millie's event  is over!? 

Until next time friend :) 

Friday, March 8, 2013

Fertility Flash Back Friday

Let's go on a little journey backwards 
shall we?! 
We were happily pregnant 
shopping for baby clothes 
starting to show being asked about the pregnancy 
planning our gender reveal party. 
part of me wishes I would've known what was around 
the corner, and the other part of me is glad I didn't 
March 2012 was one of the most exciting times in my life. 

March 2011
We had just sat down with my OB 
the month before and discussed moving on
to fertility drugs if we didn't become pregnant on our 
own in the next 6 months.. 
I wish we wouldn't have wasted that time..

March 2010
We were ttc on our own. 
not knowing that July would bring us a BFP 
followed by an early loss. 

March 2009
Not fully trying but wouldn't mind if it happened

March 2008
All forms of Birth control ditched! 
Surprise BFP in May
followed by an early loss. 

When I look back at our Journey It seems 
so much longer than I thought. 
Looking at March 2008 when we ditched 
any baby prevention we ended up pregnant
3 short months later! Little did we know 
what the road ahead of us looked like...

I started Provera yesterday to help 
bring AF to town... 
I just can't believe that our hopes for 
our IUI in February have come and gone. 
It is now march and looking at the calendar
trying to predict the timing is next to impossible.
If AF doesn't arrive with in the next week 
we won't be doing our IUI until April... 
and April is one month I would like 
to block out of my memory forever. 
I dread April, I dread April 1st 
every time the thought creeps into my mind 
I quickly distract myself. 
I just can't believe it's been almost a  year. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Stuck Like Chuck..

Urban Dictionary: 

31 up12 down
to be shit outa' luck...cant win for losin'
I didn't make parole again I guess i'm just stuck like chuck
by boss Mar 26, 2005 share this add a video
2.stuck like chuck21 up8 down
When your completely wasted and you cant move; hence being stuck.
Yo I cant make it to the party man...I'm stuck like chuck.
by Avi Jamal Aug 2, 2005 share this add a video
3.stuck like chuck21 up9 down
Stuck in a situation that you can not get out of easily
That poor guy got stuck like chuck and could not get out of it.
I had to post these because they are hilarious!! 

 So #4. would read 
4. Stuck like Chuck 
Stuck in the middle of a cycle with resting ovaries and a lining of 11.7! 
she was stuck like chuck waiting on her period. 

Yesterday I went in for an ultrasound to find out 
where Aunt Flo is.. 
The appointment went like this...
3:50pm I arrive for my 4:00pm appointment
Lovely lady at the front tells me he is running 30 minutes behind
So I sit, over on the left by myself minding my own business
when the couple from across the room decides they want 
to watch Ellen. Over they come interrupting my photo session. 
He is in flip flops.. mind you we got 8 inches of snow the night before
and she is in a hoodie and some very dirty gym shoes. 
I'm not judging. I'm just sayin...
So they proceed to start up a conversation 
about his baby mama drama and how she won't 
let him  have his kid when he wants, and how he 
just wishes she wasn't so damn complicated... 
I can't help but pick up my phone and begin to text 
my mom their entire conversation.. at this point I am fuming 
thinking what in the hell are they doing here? 
I know I don't know their story or what they have been 
through but my first reaction to them was why?
why are you here if all you do is fight?
do you really want to bring a baby into that?
They continued to argue as he complained 
saying "what the hell is taking so long" 
All I could think was.. Nice. Real Nice...
I wish I could have taken a picture of his face
when the nurse opened the door and called my name!
I went back and got in position..
and waited
and waited
and waited.
Finally I hear them shuffling out side of my room
then a quick knock and the door creaking open.
{deep breath}
We begin and the first thing he sees is how thick my lining is
(I'm not gonna lie I was staring at the screen hoping to see 
a small black circle and for him to say "Surprise, your pregnant!")
But that didn't happen...
So then he checks my ovaries, just a bunch of PCOS
hanging out around there.. The left ovary aka The Hider
was tucked up at the tip top of my uterus
holy moly did that hurt!
He finally said that I was basically stuck in a cycle.
& from the labs last week he said my estrogen level was very high.
I was ready to start but just wasn't starting.
Just when I thought it was time to put my pants back on
he starts talking about a procedure that we may need to do called
Ovarian Drilling..
Say what?!
Basically what they do it a laparoscopy
through your belly button and poke holes in the walls
of your ovaries. this is supposed to help your hormones
and may even make you start ovulating on your own!
Its out patient and covered by insurance!
We decided that we will go through with this first cycle
of Famara and IUI and if it doesn't work
we will contemplate having  procedure done.
and then try again.

I'm ready..
Lets get this show on the road! 

P.S. I am so so sorry but I had to turn my word verification
back on for now, You would not even believe the amount
of spam comments I am getting! It is driving me CRAZY!
I hope this works!
I will turn it back off in a few weeks I promise! 

Monday, March 4, 2013

Hey Universe Back Off!

I'm blaming it all on the universe at this point. 
a recap-had blood work LAST Wednesday
results were negative hcg and progesterone at .1
I should have started the next day, or the day after that?
or the day after that?! We are now 5 days later with no AF 
and no signs of her in site.. 
I have a call in to my RE to see what the hell we do?
when I talked to the nurse last week she wanted me to come
in for an ultrasound to check things out, but I opted for the 
blood work since the ultrasounds run me $208 dollars 
 At this point I feel like someone needs to put their
headlamp on and take a lookise up in there!
{Strike One Universe}

Friday night
We had some friends over after they left we noticed it was pretty cold
in our house, we tried many times to get the heat turned back on
but finally gave up and went to bed.
we woke up to this

{Strike 2 Universe}

We called our heating and air guy who couldnt
make it out until Sunday...

So we decided it was Saturday and we would just spend
the day out of the house. We headed down to Ikea
with our friends and their son.
It was a great time! I got some pink items for my new room,
Carter got a new big boy bed! and Scott got a pretty cool print
for his office!

That stand on the right is out now, and the treadmill is in the corner!
More pictures coming on the room progress

This is the pictures both Scott and Josh bought,
I am not really sure why they loved it so much
but they HAD to have it! lol..

So after Ikea
 we went with my parents to a UD Basketball game!
It was SO FUN! after the game we went to our favorite
watering holeplace to drink, restaurant!
Elsa's Mmm Hot wings and Bad Juan Margarita's

Scott and I  I decided it would be a good idea
to try and ruff it in the bitter cold of our house
and build a fire in the basement, drink some wine
and layer on the clothes...
I think maybe, just maybe the margaritas decided that this plan
was a good idea..
and Then I decided I wanted to be part of the fire building process..
and this is a result of me attempting to build a fire..
I guess the saying is true,
If you play with fire you will get burnt.
{Strike 3 Universe} 

I'm Out. 

Friday, March 1, 2013

Jumbley Jumble

Yes I made that word up.. I think?
My brain is so jumbled lately! I have so many blog 
posts I want to write and when I sit down to write 
it a million other things flood my mind. 
So lets start most recent and work our way backwards 
shall we? yes, bare with me and my wracked brain. 

On Wednesday I gave in and called Dr. B
It was CD44 with no signs of AF and 
a million few hpts that were all negative! 
While I was getting my blood drawn, by 
the worst blood sucker in town (new girl) 
she said to me, "Is this to check levels or check for pregnancy?" 
My first irritated thought was a bad word. 
But then I said, to check for pregnancy. 
"Oh" she said, well how long have you been trying?
Second irritated thought was a sentence of bad words. 
But I replied 3 years.. 
"Oh my" she said "It seems like the ones who want them 
the most and deserve them the most have the hardest time getting them.
and the ones who don't want them and don't deserve them 
pop them out like it's their job." 
Third irritated thought...more bad words
But I replied yep that sure is true.. 
After I was all finished I headed back to work 
and jumped on Facebook.. I then deleted all of the 
"undeserving" pregnant girls that complain on a daily 
and then the next second post pictures of ultrasounds and about 
how happy they are...Ya happy till their "baby daddy" leaves them. Again. 
Geeze! Makes my blood boil. 
But that's another blog post for another day. 
See I am off topic already. 
So yesterday 3pm.. no call from the Dr. 
about my lab results, I figured they all had to make 
sure they got their lunch breaks in and caught up on 
their gossip before they could call me back. 
3:30 I finally called... 
They didn't have any results. 
go figure. 
But they DID have Scott's S/A results!
and I am happy to say they were pretty much great!
his count was 82 Million! 
Movement was 49 
and Morphology was 2%
Since this was his first one ever they didn't put too much on it. 
But Dr. B decided some supplements would help boost 
that Morphology a bit...So on Thursday he started 
Follic Acid-400micrograms?
Men's One a Day 
and an Antioxidant! 
8am this morning they call again to tell me 
My hcg was negative (no surprise) 
and my progesterone was a .1
point 1. 
Hip Hip Hoooray for no provera! 
Hopefully stupid AF shows her stupid 
ugly face today! 

Yesterday My dear Oma had surgery 
I met her, my aunts and my mom 
at the hospital early in the morning before 
they took her back. We laughed and joked 
and prayed. I held my breath until my mom 
text me that all way good and she was in recovery!
I went up after work to hang out with her and catch 
up on the Jodi Arias trial.. (yet another post for another day) 
that woman is NUTS! 
my Oma loves watching trials.. and I love watching them with her! 
So glad all is well with her, and she will be going home today!
Me and My Oma at my cousins wedding 2 years ago

About the room.. 
I loved every one of your comments, 
and pondered on each piece of advice. 
It came down to this... 
We were set to leave the room empty and the door closed
But when it came time to move in some of the furniture we ran out of room. 
so we agreed we would store the new futon in there and that was it. 
but after putting it in the room, my mind envisioned
my treadmill in the corner and a mirror on the wall with 
a tv mounted and some free weights and a yoga mat on the floor. 
I have been trying to work out regularly to prepare for my 
upcoming IUI and what better than a 
Get fit for baby room?! 
So the wheel began to spin and 
an hour later I had decided exactly how I want it!
So first we moved in the Futon.. 

Then the treadmill a pink pillow and my pink yoga mat! 

;) my mom made this for me and this is exactly the look I was going for!
So I will keep you updated on the room 
and once everything is in I will take lots of pictures! 

Since I already warned you that this was a jumbley jumbled mess 
of a post I am also going to throw dinner from last night at you!
Not literally cause that would be mean and messy. 
After scrolling through pinterst a few million times 
I came across these adorable Mini Meatloaves!
I just had to make them! 
I have never made a meatloaf in my life! 
My mom never made it, so I never ate it growing up.
Last night I gave it a whirl. It was kinda a little 
from a recipe and a little of what I wanted to put in! 

These were SOO good! Scott gave this meal a 10! 

Here is my jumbled recipe 
1 pound of lean ground beef
1/2 cup of oats 
1 egg
3/4 cups milk 
1 hand full of shredded cheese 
a pinch of salt 
2 or 3 pinches of sugar
and a few dashes of worcestershire sauce 
(yes I had to look at the bottle to spell that)
Then in a separate bowl I mixed ketchup mustard and sugar 
I pressed the meat into the greased muffin pan
topped with my ketchup mixture and baked for 45 minutes 
on 350 degrees! 
added some mashed potatoes and green beans for sides
and Walaa dinner of champions! :) 
If you follow me on instagram you saw all of this last night. 
if not you had to wait :( waiting is not fun! Follow me! :)

enough rambling! 
Have a lovely weekend everyone!!