We are Adopting Again!

 I am so happy to be back in this space! I took to Instagram after Sawyer was born and abandoned my blog, I am bringing it back to life as we prepare to become a family of four. I was so vulnerable and raw when we went through Sawyers adoption. We had just decided two months prior that we were going to just be done with everything. We felt like we had exhausted all of our options and most of our funds.  I didn't know what to expect. The whole process with the lawyers and the paperwork felt so invasive and cold. I spent a lot of time angry at the process, this time I want to be a voice for others going though it. I want to help prepare someone like me who needed to hear real life stories on how it all works and what all is involved and why it's ok to feel the way you feel about the process but how to embrace it and love it and see that in the end it is all so so very worth it. 

Going forward in my posts I will refer to Sawyer's birth parents as K, B and C to respect their identity. We have an open adoption and a very close relationship with them, they are family to us now and forever. They are truly angels sent from above. With out them we wouldn't be who we are today. 

 

• In September Sawyer turned three we had a small birthday party for him at the house and later that night I got a text from K and it was a picture of a positive test! 

Rewind to summer! We spend a lot of time with Sawyer's birth parents and bio sister and one casual Sunday they asked us if we would ever want a second baby...I mean of course, yes! I remember yelling out as I looked over at Scott remembering I should probably ask his opinion too hahah! It didn't take long for us to discuss it and agree if they were willing to carry another child for us we were one hundred percent doing this! 

In August K had an early miscarriage, It was a whirlwind of a week and I felt like before we could feel any excitement it was over. I told her we didn't have to do this, it was too much on her and I didn't ever want her to have to go through that heartache and pain again. She insisted she was going to be ok and they would try again soon. 

Flash forward a few weeks to Sawyers party everyone but my HS Bff had left and were were sitting on the couch laughing at what a wreck the house was when my phone buzzed. As soon as I saw her name I knew! I opened the message and all I can remember is my eyes filling up with tears. My head began to spin, do I tell Scott now or wait till tomorrow (he had crashed as soon as the last kid left) do I tell my mom or wait?! is it a boy or girl? when is the due date? will it look like Sawyer and C? can I handle two? so many questions in the span of about 10 seconds. 

The weeks flew by and drug on at the same time as we had decided to wait to tell our parents until Halloween a whole 8 weeks away from when we found out. My mom and I talk like 294720 times a day so keeping it from her was damn near impossible. Not to mention she has some serious esp shit going on and every time I would sneak to pick up K for an apt or an ultrasound my mom would text me, "where are you? what are you doing?" 

We pulled it off though we waited until Halloween, Scott carved a stork into a pumpkin and I decorated the table with a few ultrasound pics. My parents arrived first, they were totally surprised and so so excited! Scotts parents arrived shortly after and had the same reaction. Everyone is so excited and we cant wait to meet this little babe.