I did it..

I hit my first squirrel. 

I cried. 

I tried so hard not to hit the little guy, but I did and it was awful. 

I pulled over, called Scott and balled my eyes out! 

Poor Scott, thought something serious had happened. 

I have been sick for the past few days and last night was the worst. 

I woke up this morning barely able to move 

with out my head feeling like it may explode 

I was running behind, and my eyes were glued shut from all the crap in my head

I was on my way to work, feeling like poo and wanting to crawl back in bed. 

I knew I should have stayed home, poor squirrel. 

Scott said that right before I called him 

he was sitting at a traffic light thinking to himself about how 

amazing making a life really is, with all the chromosomes and 

things that must go perfectly right in order for a baby to be born

and about how he thinks we are ready to try again. 

Then I call. crying about a dead squirrel and ruin his moment! haha

But after I hung up the phone, I got to thinking. 

I think its time to make the call..

you know the one for the little pill that will send aunt flo into town. 

Its been 68 days and I think we have waited as long as we can stand

I am going to call on Monday morning and talk with the nurse 

so we can get this show on the road! 

I am excited to try again, excited but at the same time

I am nervous and scared.

For now I am keeping positive thoughts 

and reminding myself every moment that

In the end... what will be will be...