Monday, July 14, 2014

Just Keep Swimming

Well my ultrasound with Dr. B this morning 
was far from helpful. 
There is still tissue inside my uterus
and unless it makes it's way out 
on it's own I will need a D&C -_-
I haven't had any bleeding in 3 days 
so I am guessing it's not just going to 
come out on it's own. 
I don't want to have a D&C 
But I also don't want this tissue stuck 
in there messing everything up! 

He didn't say much but uhhhh
and welllll 
and well we could try...
Hey buddy! I've been here 2+ years 
you mean to tell me you haven't "tried" 
all your ideas yet?! 
I'm over him. 
I know I said it before 
and I know I said I was going to switch REs before
but this time I am for real. 
I NEED a Dr. that KNOWS ME!
that remembers me! more of a personal connection 
instead of feeling like I'm just another chart to read
two seconds before coming in the room.   
I also need someone who specializes in 
recurrent miscarriages...not someone who 
just tries to push IVF in my face and 
leaves stones unturned!

So here I am again
letting my body and heart heal. 
trying to make sense of everything 
while keeping my head held high. 

Scott has been amazing 
through out everything. 
He is strong, his love holds me together. 
He is the one who gives me the 
strength I have and the will to keep going. 
I know that we can do it. 
I know we can overcome anything. 
I know that this ride sucks and I just 
want to get off. But I also know 
we can't give up. We are so close. 
We will succeed and we will 
hold a child of our own one day. 

For now we will just keep swimming 


  1. Hugs. You are lucky to have each other.

  2. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a doctor like that, hopefully you can find one that is best for y'alls journey.

  3. you are never ever far from my thoughts, alexis. i'll always be praying and rooting for you and scott! sending so So much love. <3<3<3

  4. Hugs. Thank goodness for our amazing partners on this journey.