Just Keep Swimming

Well my ultrasound with Dr. B this morning 

was far from helpful. 

There is still tissue inside my uterus

and unless it makes it's way out 

on it's own I will need a D&C -_-

I haven't had any bleeding in 3 days 

so I am guessing it's not just going to 

come out on it's own. 

I don't want to have a D&C 

But I also don't want this tissue stuck 

in there messing everything up! 

He didn't say much but uhhhh

and welllll 

and well we could try...

Hey buddy! I've been here 2+ years 

you mean to tell me you haven't "tried" 

all your ideas yet?! 

I'm over him. 

I know I said it before 

and I know I said I was going to switch REs before

but this time I am for real. 

I NEED a Dr. that KNOWS ME!

that remembers me! more of a personal connection 

instead of feeling like I'm just another chart to read

two seconds before coming in the room.   

I also need someone who specializes in 

recurrent miscarriages...not someone who 

just tries to push IVF in my face and 

leaves stones unturned!

So here I am again

waiting. 

letting my body and heart heal. 

trying to make sense of everything 

while keeping my head held high. 

Scott has been amazing 

through out everything. 

He is strong, his love holds me together. 

He is the one who gives me the 

strength I have and the will to keep going. 

I know that we can do it. 

I know we can overcome anything. 

I know that this ride sucks and I just 

want to get off. But I also know 

we can't give up. We are so close. 

We will succeed and we will 

hold a child of our own one day. 

For now we will just keep swimming