Thursday, June 13, 2013

Another Wish That Didn't Come True..

I can't let myself give up on the idea 
that wishes and dreams really do come true just yet. 
But damn it's getting hard to believe. 
IUI#3 didn't turn out to be the "lucky" one. 
6.12.13 One day before my testing date I stated to spot and cramp. 
I knew it was over with the first twinge of that intense pain in my abdomen.
I don't know what went wrong. 
I don't know why it's not working. 
and I am starting to doubt my Dr. 
When I first met with Dr. B April of 2012 
just 3 short weeks after my D&C, I had full faith in him. 
I mean he is one of the best in the area, his record is great 
and I hear woman raving about him all the time. 
But after 3 medicated cycles and our wtf appointment 
I never saw him again. It was like I was shipped off to the 
almost-good-okay-but-not-great Doctor that is in practice with him. 
Dr. G 
He is a weird nice guy. But he just isn't getting the job done. 
I HATE that they never know my name or my history when I go in. 
They always act surprised when I mention that I have in fact 
been pregnant before, 3 times to be exact. 
It's just so irritating to me that they can't take 5 minutes before 
to review your chart and practice saying your name before they 
come in calling you Alex and assuming you've never been pregnant. 
Enough ranting. 
End result is going to be that we will end up switching Dr.s 
It makes me a little sad because there are some nurses 
there that I truly adore. But the cons have officially out weighed the pros. 
This month I am going on a business trip for 8 days 
and it happens to be right in the middle of when I would need to be 
in town for things like, ultrasounds and um the actual procedure. 
Sooo. We will be taking this cycle off. 
It will also give me time to do some final research on 
other Dr.s in the area. Hopefully we can make the switch before August. 
Until then I guess the old fashion way is all we can do. 
Who knows what will happen.. 
All I can do today is work at keeping my faith alive, 
work on keeping my husbands faith alive and work on 
being the best me that I can be. 
Thanks for all your love and support through this 
stupid crazy f(&*^ up Shit


  1. My heart breaks for you two every single time.
    You and Scott have gone above and beyond being strong. Sometimes it's okay to cry until you can't anymore and scream why.
    I love you

  2. I'm so sorry Alexis. I wanted this so badly for you two. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.

  3. I am so sorry that this iui didn't work for you. It is so hard when everything looks perfect and still no pregnancy. I definitely think you have the right idea about the clinic though. Although we haven't been able to keep a pregnancy I can definitely say my clinic knows me personally and always are compassionate.

    I truly hope you find that BIG cycle soon.

  4. I'm so sorry.....I definitely think if you aren't feeling supported and comfortable, you should look for a new doctor. I really really hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

  5. I'm so sorry. :( Good luck with you Dr. search.

  6. So Sorry to hear about number 3. I felt exactly the same way when #3 didn't work for us, I mean 3 is that number that's supposed to work right?! I love your positivity and want to give you kudos for moving forward. My doctor, who was supposed to be "the man", has seemed to become more forgetful when he comes in the makes me a little sad cause i've been there so long. Good luck with finding a new physician, with God on your side he can guide your search to find someone to greatly benefit you. Way to go moving forward my dearest...I support your choices and wish you the best of luck!

  7. I'm so sorry :( I hope are able to find a Dr. that you feel just right with :)

  8. I think a new doctor sounds like a great plan! Screw him if he doesn't even know you by now! He should know your medical history almost as well as you do, or at least look over your chart before you speak.

    I am praying that it happen for you the good old fashioned way between now and August.

  9. Damn - Alexis I'm so sorry... that's awful that the doctors and nurses can't take time to orient themselves with your chart (I've faced that before, VERY annoying.)
    Hopefully the Dr-switch will bring about much change and success!

  10. I'm so sorry girl. I hate that you also have to deal with an RE office that doesn't seem to really care. I'm praying you find the perfect match for your next RE and they are able to get the job done! More than that I'm praying one of your break cycles will be success and you will never have to see another RE again!!! ((((Hugs))))

  11. I'm soooooo sorry :( Hang in there!

  12. I'm so sorry it didn't work once again. I went to 3 doctors before I had true success so keep trying and looking for a new doc. Your persistence will pay off!!

  13. I am praying for you. I'm praying you find a doctor that makes you feel hopeful and positive. : )

  14. Sorry for the BFN. How heartbreaking. Good for you for dumping your doc and finding someone who can take better care of you.

  15. I'm sorry you guys didn't get good news this cycle. Hope you find a great dr. and you get your BFP soon!!!

  16. I'm sorry this IUI didnt take but I am glad you are being proactive on searching for a new Dr. I know the best thing I ever did was switch clinics for the same reasons. They were just so impersonal and lacked the follow up.

  17. I'm so sorry :( I think the fact that you have been pregnant 3 times is the most frustrating part - you know it can happen so why isn't it now? I really hope you can find a great doctor that knows his/her stuff, and is committed to working with you and doing whatever it takes until you get your takehome baby. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, it just isn't fair :( ((hugs))

  18. Oh, I'm so sorry. Thinking of and praying for you. Glad you're being proactive and hoping you find a doctor you are comfortable with soon. xo

  19. I find that I don't have anything better to say than what your amazing mama has already said. I'm so sorry, Alexis. This just isn't fair. It isn't right. I can't think of two more deserving people than you and Scott, and it breaks my heart to see you going through this month after month. Sending all my love. XO

  20. i'm in total agreement with mrs. e and your beautiful mama! alexis, you amaze me...always. <3 you and scott are never far from my thoughts and prayers. I always pray for you and never will stop, my friend. <3<3<3

  21. I hope that the new Dr works better for you and your family