Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Silly Me...

I read my last post and laughed. 
The hope I always hold month after month..
Ohhhh Ahhh EWCM this will be the month!
NOT. 
So stupid. 
I'm in a weird place right now. 
I'm in limbo, 
I was set and ready to start IVF in March
I have talked with the Nurses and the plan is a go. 
But now I'm second guessing my choices. 
I hate this office. 
Still..
I just took a minute to read back 
through my blog and turns out I've hated them 
since 2012...Its 2015...
what the hell is wrong with me?
Why have I stuck around so long?
I know why. It's because I'm fearful 
of starting over with a new RE.. 
I HATE going to new doctors..
I HATE going over every shitty situation that has 
occurred in the last 5 year...
I just don't want to do it. 
But on the other hand. I want a baby. 
I want to make my husband a father 
and my parents and in laws grandparents...
I tell myself it comes down to how 
bad do you want it. 

I posted a long post on my TTC_Babywarrick IG account
you are welcome to read... 
But to sum it up. 
I am going to see my OB on moday..
I trust him, 
I am comfortable with him. 
and after my last miscarriage he promised to 
help me in any way he could. 
I value his opinion..
and in my opinion he helped me get pregnant 
this last time..after 6 short months of seeing him...
Dr. B on the other hand...
3 years...a million ultrasounds,
3 IUI's injections and so on 
and nothing...not one single BFP..
That has to speak volumes..
and now im ready to listen.
I will update after my appointment Monday 
if there is anyone out there that still reads this..
and you're the praying type send one up for us.. 







6 comments:

  1. Goodluck on ur appointment on Monday! Hope everything goes well. Sending lots of good vibes and prayers ur way.

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  2. Good luck on your appointment! Will pray for you :)

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  3. We have been praying for you and we won't stop! It just doesn't make sense right now, but I pray that it will all make sense sometime soon. May your appointment go well and you get some good information. PRAYERS!

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  4. Good luck Monday! I never left my OB/GYN when I was trying, he was the fertility specialist for my clinic and I stuck with everything he said we needed to do. Hopefully yours will be as awesome :)

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  5. Do you have another RE in your area? If you hate your current one then maybe you could find a different RE? There are special OB/GYNs that are well versed in infertility issues, but then there are far too many that give horrible advice and don't know what they are talking about.

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