Silly Me...

I read my last post and laughed. 

The hope I always hold month after month..

Ohhhh Ahhh EWCM this will be the month!

NOT. 

So stupid. 

I'm in a weird place right now. 

I'm in limbo, 

I was set and ready to start IVF in March

I have talked with the Nurses and the plan is a go. 

But now I'm second guessing my choices. 

I hate this office. 

Still..

I just took a minute to read back 

through my blog and turns out I've hated them 

since 2012...Its 2015...

what the hell is wrong with me?

Why have I stuck around so long?

I know why. It's because I'm fearful 

of starting over with a new RE.. 

I HATE going to new doctors..

I HATE going over every shitty situation that has 

occurred in the last 5 year...

I just don't want to do it. 

But on the other hand. I want a baby. 

I want to make my husband a father 

and my parents and in laws grandparents...

I tell myself it comes down to how 

bad do you want it. 

I posted a long post on my TTC_Babywarrick IG account

you are welcome to read... 

But to sum it up. 

I am going to see my OB on moday..

I trust him, 

I am comfortable with him. 

and after my last miscarriage he promised to 

help me in any way he could. 

I value his opinion..

and in my opinion he helped me get pregnant 

this last time..after 6 short months of seeing him...

Dr. B on the other hand...

3 years...a million ultrasounds,

3 IUI's injections and so on 

and nothing...not one single BFP..

That has to speak volumes..

and now im ready to listen.

I will update after my appointment Monday 

if there is anyone out there that still reads this..

and you're the praying type send one up for us..